Felix Herbener

I should have asked to live in care as a kid. I might have got medical help. I was 19 when I was cured and my life began again. I feel like they got to me and sealed my anus shut to control my behaviour before I even had a chance to act on my sexuality. I think some of them wanted me to get a sex change before I could shit too. Maybe it was to stop me getting bashed by homophobes. Stop the death toll of violence. I felt pretty violent when my anus was glued shut. Feel violent sometimes thinking about what they did to me. I was innocent, but it was so unsafe for me to be gay. I guess. My brother is such a mongoloid I could have turned out worse too.

Death to Haters.  

1997, the school bus to Beaudesert High School. I don't take a seat. There are boys who get on the bus before my stop. They tease me about stuff. Some of it is sexual in nature that is meant to titilate and hurt at the same time. I felt I was too young to be around such coarse vulgar teenagers. It was very degrading, some of the things they said to me. I never knew their names, I was afraid to face them. 2019, Gladstone Queensland. I meet this family of five brothers and in being around them things they say take me straight back to that bus. I can imagine them as the boys at the back of my high school bus. I even think I remember one of their names, and his habits. Could they have went to my school I don't know they said they were from there but I am not so sure. Anyway so I studied English at university and I am good at picking up on inuendo and bias in peoples speech. "He's proud of it" translates to "he's a shameless fag". "I pee in the showe...

If you have a cough it's just 5G measuring your vital statistics. It's millimetre wave. You will feel short of breath. They scan you with ultrasound beams from the satellites triangulated with the cell towers to make a 3D live map of everyone on earth. They probably chip you in your sleep so you wake up seeing augmented reality and don't even know. They could give you a holographic girlfriend.

 

2008/2009 Hobart City. T. is sitting on a circular bench at the bottom of the mall outside the National Australia Bank. She is wearing a similar black Adidas windbreaker to mine. "Is that you're camera?" she asks. "Is that a girl's jacket?". She proceeds to tell me off for taking photos. It tell her "Go home tonight and think about how Fearless's camera takes photos and is not a gun that shoots bullets". And I remember her saying something like why aren't you in school and I was like "I'm 27". And her telling me to be nicer to girls or something. And I was like "I'm not good genetic material" and then her look of disgust or pity that I did not need. T. has this mean look to her face, marred by acne, her eyes squint. She has a 'resting bitch face'. The whole time she is speaking she seems to have an ungodly interest in me. Maybe she has seen me taking photos before in town. Basically she treated me like a ...